I have to admit, though, that I feel decidedly uneasy about letting people who appear to be of "the opposite sex" into public restrooms/locker rooms.
* * * * *
One problem I have is that I just cannot wrap my head around the transgender mind. I can imagine being gay/lesbian/bisexual, but not transgender. (The former are sexual orientations, the latter is about gender identity. I have read that "T" people — those who are transgender — may have any of the above sexual orientations. Sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things.)
I can accordingly empathize with people who are "L" or "G" or "B." They have a sexual preference, same as I, as a straight man, do. They don't choose their sexual preference, and neither do I. They decide what to do and not to do with their sexual preference, and so do I. We're all basically alike in that regard.
But "T" people — I just don't know what it's like for them. Taking as an example a transgender "woman" — someone born with the anatomy of a male but who nonetheless identifies as a woman — I can't imagine what it's like to have a penis and think it shouldn't be there. Same with a transgender "man"; what is it like to think a penis should be there?
So there's no basis in my personal psychology for empathy for "trans" individuals. I just don't get how the minds of "T" people operate.
* * * * *
Nor do I quite understand the undesirability, for transgender people, of using the restroom or locker facilities designated for their nominal, birth-certificate gender.
Maybe it's because I'm not transgender, but I would feel uncomfortable undressing in front of a group of women, and having them undress in front of me. I know my even being there would make them uncomfortable, even if I had a tattoo on my chest saying I'm transgender. It seems to me to be a question, first and foremost, of bodies undressing with matching bodies.
* * * * *
As for peeing and pooping, it seems to be the same sort of thing. I was once using a restroom in Spain, and in came a woman who was a maid — in Spanish, una criada — intent on cleaning the room. She was unfazed by my presence. I was certainly a bit shocked, but I had read in a travel guide that this was normal behavior in that country. So, okay ... I guess.
What would happen if I went in a women's restroom here in this country? That's not normal behavior here. Women might well be justified in being shocked.
* * * * *
Opponents of the "Bathroom Bill" objected to it as a license for sexual "predators." According to this article, "The predator argument is based on an assumption that men who prey on women will be inspired to dress as women and enter women’s spaces because they could falsely claim to be transgender and therefore allowed to stay." The nominal fear is that women will not only have their spaces inappropriately invaded, but the invasion would sometimes lead to actual sexual assaults.
The article maintains, however, that in other localities where transgender people have become able to choose which spaces they enter, there is no correlated increase in sexual assaults.
What about possible dangers to our children? This article says the anti-trans claim is that "Male perverts and pedophiles disguised as women (faux transgender people) will troll women's bathrooms and sexually assault our wives and daughters" (italics mine).
I can't really judge these anti-trans claims. There are a number of men who get sexual titillation out of witnessing women peeing. I know this because I'm one of them.
So maybe I would be a "predator" if I took advantage of transgender equality to hang out in women's restrooms. But I wouldn't do that, because my interest in urination-for-titillation is far outweighed by not wanting to shock other people and not wanting to violate societal norms.
Are such objections concerning "predation" a good reason to oppose transgender restroom equality? Those potential "predators" who'd hasten to shock other people, get titillation, violate norms, commit assaults, etc. probably already do. Accordingly, I don't think these are good reasons to oppose transgender restroom equality.
* * * * *
Leaving aside such questions of predatory behavior, though, I still think the exercise of transgender "rights" to use a restroom or locker room that matches one's non-birth-certificate gender identity may be too disturbing and too shocking to too many people.
The occasion of the exercise of such transgender rights is one in which an individual who appears to be of the "wrong" gender come inside a space designated for the "other" gender alone. The occupants of that space have no way of knowing whether the new arrival is or is not transgender. They may or may not even have the concept of transgender rights firmly implanted in their heads. Their first thought, rightly or wrongly, is apt to be, "Uh-oh! What is that new arrival intending to do here. Are we (or our children) safe? Anyway, isn't our privacy being violated?"
We humans insist on our right to privacy, after all. In the end, it's not about predation or sexual assault. It's all about privacy.
I wonder whether the transgender person who wants to use a restroom opposite to his or her birth gender isn't ultimately seeking to exercise his or her privacy rights: undressing or peeing in one's birth-certificate space feels like an act of exposing oneself, the polar opposite of privacy.
* * * * *
So maybe this really is a question of privacy rights. If a transgender man — someone who looks like a woman to me — "invades" my restroom while I'm at the urinal, my privacy right might feel threatened, if only very briefly.
But his privacy would be compromised his whole life through, if he had under law to stick to using women's facilities.
That may be the most important consideration here, and if so, then maybe I can wrap my head around transgender rights after all!
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